OF FOOTBALL AND FOOTBALLERS

(A light hearted post on football constructed with footballers’ names as building blocks)

picture source; google

 No one can deny the fact that football is a universally loved sport. The silky skills and visionary passing of midfielders, the lightening speed of wingers on the flanks, the wall like stubbornness of defense, the magnetic hands of goalkeepers and clinical finishes of strikers makes this game something that will always be watched day in and day out across the globe.

“Bend it like Beckham,” is a famous quote in foot-balling world. I would add; “Watch it until you are Bent (Darren Bent-Aston Villa) and your Back Harmed (Beckham).

Football is lucrative sport that is worth billions of Dollars, Pounds and Sterling (Raheem Sterling-Liverpool). It is a physically demanding sport that requires expending lot of energy leaving you dehydrated, so you have to Drink Water (Danny Drinkwater-Licester) a lot, during the game.

 Often players have to bear the Brunt (Chris Brunt-West Brom) of its physicality. If you are hit in the eyes, you have a likely chance of becoming Blind (Daley blind- Manchester United), because the Hunt (Jack Hunt-Crystal Palace) is on for trophies.

Many  footballers begin their career when they are Young (Ashley Young-Man U) and some are not only small but, Smalling (Chris Smalling-man U) that we can call them Nani (Manchester United) and before you graduate to become a Walker (Kyle Walker-Tottenham) you also have to Crouch (Peter Crouch-Stoke).

The walk can trigger the Heat On (Tom Heaton-Burnley) and the journey can be Long (Kevin Long-Burnley), it can take you as far as Kabul (Younas Kaboul-Tottenham) where women play football covered under burkha.

 Most players play Cleverly (Tom Clervely-Everton) in the Kompany (Vincent Kompany-Man City) where a non-Bhutanse has a Bhutanese- like name of Zeko (Eden  Dzeko-Man City). Some footballers are Bony (Wiflred Bony-Man City) and Contact with bony footballers is health Hazard (Eden Hazard-Chelsea). Few are so robust that they have earned the tag of being Villain (Willian-Chelsea). But, some footballers have cult like followers like Hindu Mata (Juan Mata-Man U).

If football stadium is a Palace (Crystal Palace FC), there would be Gunners (Arsenal) as sentries. The Kings (Ledley King, Andy King) will be in one of the Chambers (Calum Chambers-Arsenal) watching match live on television and you will be ushered in by Chamberlain (Oxlade Chamberlain-Arsenal). In the Queen’s Park, Rangers (QPR) keep their vigil from Myhill (Boaz Myhill-West Brom) huddled between stones (Huddlestone-Hull City) as the Queen (Stephen Quinn-Hull City) opens the Cork (Jack Cork-Swansea) of Champaign bottle in the palace to celebrate their team’s win.

And out in the field a Gardener (Craig Gardener-West Brom) is busy moving a Bale (Gareth Bale-Real Madrid) of grass to the Barnes (Ashley Barnes-Burnley) nearby, covered in Grimes (Matt Grimes-Swansea) before heading home to watch a cup final.

Sometimes when you are in the losing side 90 minute is too Long (Kevin Long-Burnley) especially when your strikers fail to hit Target (Matt Target). And the players asks themselves if they are playing Wright (Wright-Man City)but, deep inside they keep telling themselves; “yes we Can” (Emre Can-Liverpool) and certainly this is Wisdom (Wisdom-Liverpool).

Goal post is not mere Woodgate(Jonathan Woodgate-fmr Real Madrid) with timbers from Westwood (Westwood-Aston Villa) or constructed by Mason (Ryan Mason-Tottenham) with bricks and mortars. Nor are the posts baked from flour by Baker (Nathan Baker-Aston Villa) but, they are steel posts made by Smith (Willson Smith). Collision with the posts can break you Cheek (Cheek-Chelsea) and you not only become Brown (Wes Brown-Sunderland) but can completely turn you into a Blackman (Blackman-Chelsea). Such an injury can land you in a hospital Ward (Ward-Liverpool) for a long time.

Given (Shay Given-Aston Villa) that footballers work in teams, managers have to Herd (Chris Herd-Aston Villa) players together like a Shepherd (Liam Shepphard-Swansea).

Some footballers are loved like Rose (Danny Rose-Tottenham) flowers and others are Noble (Mark Noble-West Ham United) in their hearts. Some life stories are like a Page (Lewis Page-WHU) out of a fairy tale that you remember from Oxford (Rea Oxford-WHU) press that you read when walking along the Downing (Stuart Downing- WHU) street to meet prime minister, not in Ireland (Stephen Ireland-Stoke) but in England.

Football is loved universally and many trace the origin of the game to time of Adam (Charlie Adam-Stoke) while others believe the game started from the time of Moses (Victor Moses-Stoke). Whatever may be the truth, football is the world’s most beautiful game that even the names of players have a story to tell.

Happy Funny Reading!!!

Gyembo Namgyal

June 12, 2015

Disclaimer: This article is about the game of football written in light-hearted manner using professional footballers’ names in literal sense. This article in no way is intended to malign anyone either intentionally or otherwise. It is a creative work using names of footballers in building up sentences to tell a comical story on football.

IT WAS NOT MARATHON, BUT SECOND LAP OF A RELAY

picture: google

At the end of last month, someone wrote that, after a month of marathon blogging, he felt a sense of relief. He wrote how he felt during his month long blogging, running out ideas and topic and sweating in the middle of the night. Somehow he managed to complete his writing marathon. It was commendable to be writing one post every day because it is not easy.

By then, I was also having my own writing plan. I had few New Year resolutions just broken and wanted to redeem by the beginning of February. How I broke my resolution was bit funny because the resolutions have not seen even the first day.

I had a list ready and daring to go when on January 1, a friend turned up and declared that resolutions are meant to be broken. It was not my intention to break them but, had to. Writing regularly for my blog was one of them. So, with my resolution broken without even beginning, I took a month long sabbatical from blogging. Well, not writing was easiest part. One day led to the next adding up to weeks and lo, a month was over. Not a single blog post.

This is how easy it is to lose what few good habits that we may have like reading and writing on daily basis or at least regularly. I didn't want that to happen. I had to pick up from where I left and that bloggers note saying he completed a month long marathon of blogging was just the perfect prod for me to pick up writing again.

picture: google

I declared, it was not a marathon he completed, I took it as a writing relay. I took the baton from him on January 31, and began my own writing run, not marathon but another lap of a relay. I was lucky to run the second lap, an easier one. I hope someone will pick up the baton from tomorrow and begin another month long third lap.

I call upon fellow bloggers to pick up another month long writing challenge from tomorrow, March 1. I was lucky to be writing the second lap. Like in real sprint relay race, those running the middle lap are slower that those who run the first lap and the last lap. The weaker ones are in the middle. I am one who ran the middle lap.

Honestly, it was not that easy writing every day. Avoiding writing on late nights was simply irresistibly tempting.  I did not have any obligations or deadlines like before. But I slogged on. And today, it feels good to have not abandoned writing in the middle. just Like a runner whose muscles are stretched and strained with cramps and lungs running out of air, ideas did run out on many nights, and  time was always against me but, like the runner who must keep running till the line, I also made a resolve to write and post one blog every night come what may.  

I must thank few friends who suggested ideas when I most needed. Often, when I run out of idea, like anyone else I try to think. The more I think, the more constricted my brain becomes of ideas. It was during those moments some of my good  friends came to my rescue suggesting ideas. They were refreshing.

 

picture: google

Well, let me tell one thing to my readers that, if we have little will and determination we can do things we want to do. We always claim to be busy and lacking time to do things. This is not true. The truth is we lack determination. You see, I did not post one single blog in January. I did not have time too, but more than the time, I did not have that determination. In February, I must say I had even busier days but, yet churned out 28 blog post for the month’s 28 days because, I told myself I am going to write everyday. This is the difference. But I must confess that, in doing so, I may not have interesting or readable stories and that was the flip side of keeping my self imposed declaration intact.

From now, there will be no daily blogs to bore readers but, like in the past I intend to keep trickling posts on regular intervals.

 Dear friends, some of you keep saying that, you are busy and have works to do, things to attend to, before picking up books to read or articles to write. Well, that day is not going to come. If you really want to read and write, do it now, make a beginning and make it happen.

Happy reading and god bless you all.

Gyembo Namgyal

February 28, 2015 09:00 PM

A TRIBUTE TO NAGMO, THE DOG

It has been over three months now, I haven’t seen Nagmo. It happened once, that she disappeared for about a month. And when I thought she must have died, she came with wobbly legs and emaciated body. The rib cage bones were jutting out of her thin body. She was different from what she used to be in the past.

Nagmo is a stray dog living in the vicinity of a home some few hundred metres away from where I live. She is a clever dog. Dogs are supposed to be clever with animal instincts but, she was one who stood over the rest of her packs and those around our area. The entire fur on her body was black with a patch of white on her chest like that of bear, hence a farmer in whose place she often remained, named her Nagmo (literally meaning black female)

When I say this dog was cleverer than the rest, I mean it from what I observed about her. She was a stray and that means she have to be on a constant lookout for food. Unlike other dogs, she will never stay in one place and will always be on the move. She is an opportunist. When she comes looking for food, she does it with stealth. She always makes one round of any home she is visiting and if the doors are open, she will enter and eat anything she can find. She eats fast and as soon as she finishes or hears sound, she leaves the place and will never return for the day.

Even after having found something easy to eat from one particular place, she is that kind of dog with instinct that she will not come back often like other dogs do. Perhaps, as a stray, she must have learnt her lessons the painful way. Even when she is fed, she will not stay put in that place or come back as often.

The fact, that she was not sterilized despite repeated sterilization campaigns in this area is a proof of just how clever she was. When the campaigns are on, professional dog catchers were able to nab most of the canines but not Nagmo. A neighbour who is familiar with this dog said that, the she always disappeared from the scene every time sterilization campaigns were taking place in the vicinity and reappears after few days. She was also never put in the dog pound, when government made attempts to cage all the strays in pound.

She doesn’t bark much but she never allows human too close either. And because she was not sterilized, she always gave birth to at least half a dozen puppies each year until last year.

When she disappeared for over a month and reappeared again, it was obvious someone broke her leg then. And after that, she was never same again. She was no longer young and neither was she able to make full recovery from that gruesome injury.

For the last few months, she was not found in any of those places she goes to, looking for food. So it can be surmised that, she must have died or may be picked up by leopard in the night. The later is likely as her dead body was not found.

With her no more in the vicinity, my neighbours began mentioning her of late. They often say that, no longer do they find this clever dog around. This is an indication of just how clever she was for people to notice her in particular out of so many strays around. If she is dead, it is good for her soul. Bhutanese and Buddhists believe that next rebirths for dogs are as humans. I think, she will be one of those intelligent humans after being a clever dog too.

Gyembo Namgyal

February 22, 2015 09:30 PM